


Letters to my Darling

by Imboredsueme



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, Loki is locked up, Odin is still a prick, Thor is trying his best, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-03-27 12:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 9,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imboredsueme/pseuds/Imboredsueme
Summary: After the events of The Dark World, Loki is once again, back in his cell in the belly of the Asgard palace. And there’s someone he misses oh so dearly, his only way for him to even hear word from her is through the letters they send each other. Odin had Forbade Loki and Y/n from seeing each other, but when there's a will, there's a way.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Heeyyy, I posted this on Tumblr, and it got great responses, so I thought I'd post it here too :) The chapters are short, all within 700 words, expect for that one chapter that passed.

Loki lays back on his cot, staring begrudgingly up at the ceiling of his miserable prison cell. When he had helped Thor rid the Midgardian girl of the Aether, he had his sights on his freedom, and he was so close too. Even though Thor pleaded his case, Odin’s judgement didn’t waver, he must remain in the dungeons and serve out his sentence for his crimes. Right now he wished he had died on Svartalfheim instead of simply being injured.

  
The most Odin could do is let him see her, but no, that was part of his punishment too. One of Odin’s biggest ‘You’re grounded’ statement since Thor’s banishment to Midgard. Another day down in the dungeons and Loki will surely lose his mind. He has thought of many ways to escape this foolish prison, but all attempts would be futile because he can’t get out unless Odin commands it so.

  
With another sigh, Loki gets up, walking over to the wooden table where parchment, a quill and ink bottle laid undisturbed. He had requested these items some time ago, figuring that books alone will not be able to quell his boredom, so writing would have to suffice. He sits down, unrolling the long piece of parchment, he tears it in half. Loki picks up the quill, twirling it between his thumb and forefinger as he tries to decide what to write. Without a doubt, she has heard of the things he’s done in the mortal world, the people he’s killed for his misguided ambitions. Once innocent hands stained crimson with blood. One can easily wash their hands of it, but to wash your mind? It can not be done, not with Lady Guilt gripping at your soul. He stares down at the parchment, apprehension creasing his brow. If he somehow manages to write this letter--and that’s one hell of an if– would she even bother to look at it? Much less read it?

  
Loki has his doubts, and he’s right to have them. He’s not sure the girl would want to hear a whisper of his name, not after what he’s done. He hadn’t seen her since before his fall off the Rainbow bridge, and that was a long time ago. They were close, best friends turned lovers. She was Loki’s partner in crime, when they were younger of course. She knew nothing of his schemes, he preferred to keep her clear of his plans as to keep her safe. She once made him feel accepted, she chose him over Thor, which was surprising, with Thor always being Odin’s champion.

  
Loki’s eyes focus on the feathered end of the quill between his fingers, he didn’t know where to start. What is he going to say anyways?  
With another sigh, Loki closes his eyes for a moment, opening them again to dip the tip of the quill into the small bottle of black ink.

_Hello, Darling._


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gives the letter to Thor and Y/n is introduced

The next day, when Loki had sent for Thor, he was still unsure about the letter. Now that he’s he’s finished writing it, should he even bother to send it? He held the parchment in his hand, waiting impatiently for his brother to arrive. His heart pounding in his ears as Thor’s footfalls echo around the high ceilings of the dungeon. The blond stands outside Loki’s cell, a tight smile gracing his bearded face.

“Loki, you sent for me,”

“The contents of this letter are not for your eyes, Thor.” Loki says almost immediately, causing his brother to raise his eyebrows, but he nods. Loki lets out a quiet sigh, almost inaudible, Thor motions for Loki to step back from the golden barrier and he allows the guard to lower it. Thor steps in, taking the folded piece of parchment from Loki’s grasp. Loki could only guess Thor’s confusion, he’s never sent for him, not ever.  
“Are you well, brother?” Thor asks quietly, and Loki could see nothing but genuine concern in Thor’s baby blue eyes. “I would be much better if I weren’t rotting away here,”

“You know why you are here, Loki. I’ve tried again and again, but father’s judgement would not waver.”

Loki sighs, “I no longer care for Odin’s judgement, Thor. I just wish he’d allow me to see her. Brother please, it is all that I ask. _Please._ ” Loki’s eyes held nothing but sadness, there was one thing that kept Loki’s mind at peace. She was his anchor, and he just wanted to stay grounded. He just wanted to see her.

  
“I’ll try, Loki. I’ll speak to father,” And with that, Thor left as quickly as he came, the gold barrier closing up behind him. Loki stands, leaning against a wall.

_Here’s to hoping._

Thor walked out of the dungeon, he was quite surprised when he had heard that Loki had requested to see him. He usually went down on his own accord, but he suppose, he had quite the reason.

  
As much as Thor cares for Loki, he could not sway his father’s command. He tried to make Odin see reason, to let Loki out, for him to do something else to seek redemption for his crimes. Even though his help in the war against the dark elves and Malakeith was redemption enough. His father was quite clear. Loki is to stay in the dungeon for the rest of his days.

  
Thor had found Y/n in the gardens by herself a few minutes later. She was sitting by the small pound that was there, the mid morning sun reflecting against her h/c hair. Giving a soft glow to her skin, she was smiling softly to herself. And even though Thor can see her smile, he knows what she hides.

“Y/n,”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Y/n chat for a bit and Y/n reads the letter

Y/n looks over her shoulder at him, and Thor watches as she got up, walking over to him with a smile. “Thor, are you well?” she asks, smiling still, but Thor could see the sadness in her irises, the very same that lies within Loki’s.

Thor nods, “I am well, Y/n,” he says, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“How is he?” the girl asks softly, her teeth worrying her bottom lip, her e/c eyes filled with hope.

“He is… Doing better,” Thor sighs, it isn’t fair,what his father was doing, and he knows it. He’s never seen Loki happier than when he was with Y/n, but now his father is taking that happiness away.  
“He’s sent this for you,” Thor hands her the parchment, letting her nimble fingers pull it from his. She smiles, “Thank you,” Thor smiles back, his hand squeezing her shoulder gently.  
“I will talk to my father again, I have hope for you yet, Y/n,” With that, Thor left the gardens, leaving her be.

Y/n watches as he left, before looking down at the neatly folded parchment in her hand. Walking back to the pond, she reclaims her seat on the cool grass, she feels her anxiety rise. She can’t remember the last time she saw him, it must have been a long time ago. She didn’t even get to see him when the Dark elves had invaded Asgard, he and Thor had went off world, and when they cane back, Loki was immediately put back into the dungeons.  
She tried again and again to talk to Odin, because apparently, locking him up was not punishment enough. She’s been denied every time she went, until she eventually gave up. She’s been asking Thor how he was doing since then, that was the only way she’d know he was okay.

With a breath, Y/n opens the parchment, and she could already feel tears sting her eyes as she sees his handwriting.

_Hello, Darling._

_I could write a thousand words on this parchment and none of them would ever be able to express how I feel. I miss you, terribly so. It’s hard, being here and yet, unable to see you, to hear your sweet laugh, to touch your skin. That smile that only we share._  
_Sometimes I believe that I’m losing my mind, but that thought of you always keep me here._  
_You know of the things I’ve done, and it’s something that I will forever regret. At night, I can barely sleep, not with these nightmares, not when I can’t block out their screams, Y/n. I fear they would never silence.  
_I don’t know what to do, with Odin forbidding me to see you. I am not even sure you’d read this, but I hope you did. You must know, I love you dearly, and I miss you just as much. I will find a way to to see you, My Love.__

__That I promise._ _

_L._


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n goes to see Odin

Y/n clutches the letter to her chest, her eyes focusing on the clear water in front of her. She lets out a shaky breath, why would he think that she wouldn’t read the letter? Does he think that after all this time–after all he’s done--that she’d not still love him? That she’d love him any less? She would never see him differently, she had made that known a long time ago.

With a new found determination, Y/n makes her way from the gardens. She needed to see Odin, right now. She stops outside the large gold doors, the guard who watches her grunts amusedly, “Back again, Y/n?” He asks, his grey eyes trained on her. Y/n lets out a shaky breath, staring at the doors, but she nods. “I’ll never stop trying, Ferrin, doesn’t he get tired if my constant begging?”

  
The Einherjar are known for their unapproachable manner, but Ferrin, as Y/n had found out, was quite nice. He has been there every time she had gone in to see Odin before, and for some reason, despite the All-Father’s commands he always lets her into the throne room. She often wonders why, pity maybe?  
“He is in there, my Lady, but I doubt he’d be glad to see you,”

Y/n glances at him but she pushes open the door anyway. The All-father sat proudly on his throne, as he always had, look down upon her. “All-father,” Y/n greets curtly, “Like I have said many times before, Y/n. No.”  
Y/n stares at him, blinking a fee times, she hadn’t even asked yet. “All-Father, please. He doesn’t deserve this,”

“Are you saying that the innocent deserved their death by his hands?”

“No! Of course not!” Y/n says, “ Just let me see him. Please, I’m only asking this of you, All-Father,”

Odin watches her, and Y/n hoped that he was finally considering. That after all the times he’s listened, he’s finally heard her. “I will never quite understand. Why love a man like him.”

  
Y/n narrows her eyes, her desperation and anger getting the best of her, “I’ve never once questioned why Frigga loves a man like you.” She didn’t care for the consequences, she just turns around and walked back out.

  
“With a mouth like that, you’re sure to get into trouble,”

  
Ferrin acknowledges her as she stormed out. She felt like ripping her hair out, because he can’t keep this up. Certainly not forever.  
Y/n didn’t find herself back in the gardens like she was originally heading, but walking aimlessly about the palace. Now, for sure she doesn’t know what to do.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n writes a letter back and meets Frigga and she gives it to Loki

My Love

Don’t you dare think for one minute that I love you any less than I did before. Because I know you Loki, and that is exactly what you are thinking.

I will not love you any less, remember this.

I am afraid, I bare bad news; I have been yet again denied to see you. I went to Odin on my own accord, but alas: nothing. I’m sorry my Love, I truly am. I can’t see you, and I don’t know just how long I can keep this up. I wish I knew what Odin expects to gain from this, and I fear once again that my tongue has placed me in hot waters.  
Loki, we both know that from where you are, you can’t do a thing. There’s no way that you can see me, but no need to worry, my Love.

Odin will not stop me.

::

Later this day, Y/n was seeking Thor, he is her only connection to Loki, and the only way she can get this letter to him. But the blond Prince was nowhere to be found. However, she did find Frigga, though she had almost ran into her.  
“My apologies, my Queen, I fear my mind is quite occupied,” Y/n says, smiling apologetically. Frigga smiles warmly at her, “It’s quite alright dear,” looking over her frantic state, “Are you alright?”  
Y/n smiles again, “Yes, yes. I’m fine as the morning sun, my Queen. But I must ask you; have you seen Thor, by any chance?” She fiddles with the parchment in her hand.

“Oh, Dear. Thor left on a trip with Sif and the Warriors Three, and I’m afraid he won’t be back until the morn,”

“Oh,” Y/n sighs, a frown pulling at her lips, she could wait a day of course, no problem. “Well, that’s alright, it doesn’t matter,” Frigga smiles, putting a gentle hold on her upper arm.  
“I can help you with whatever it is, I’m sure,”  
Y/n’s teeth worry at her bottom lip, and she looks to the letter in her hand. She looks back at Frigga, “Can you get this to Loki for me?”

Loki was pacing in his cell that night, as the day had passed, his doubts of Y/n reading his letter only grew. He was certain that she’s cast it aside, probably disgusted by him. Of course, he shouldn’t think such things. He’s never once doubted Y/n’s love for him, but at the moment, he can do nothing else but question it.  
“Loki,”  
At the sound of Frigga’s voice, Loki was jolted from his thoughts. She stood outside his cell, smiling at him. This wasn’t strange, however. After the battle with Malekith, Frigga herself had been down more often to see him, but it’s only once or twice a week, this’ll be the third time he’s seeing her.  
“Mother,” Loki nods, his green eyes immediately land on the folded piece of parchment in her hand. And again, a wave of doubt flow throw him, but also hope. That letter can contain anything.  
Not soon after, the golden barrier was dropped and Frigga came in, “Are you well?” she asks gently, and Loki nods, “I’ve never been better,” he lies easily. Frigga sighs, sensing this, “I have this for you,”


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki Reads the letter and Ferrin is reassigned to a new place to guard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the responses! Even though they were few in number, I appreciated them none the less! :)

When Frigga had left an hour later, Loki sat on his cot, unfolding the parchment. His emerald eyes scan it slowly, memorizing her penmanship. He couldn’t help but smile at it, remembering at a time when they were children, she had something he couldn’t even consider as handwriting. But over the years it’s gotten better, and eventually hers became better than his. And from her words, he can feel her emotion.  
He was foolish, to doubt her love for him, for even letting it become a thought and weigh so heavily on his mind. He’s had his reasons to, and right they were.  
Of course, Y/n had always been a woman of quick wit and sharp tongue. And it has placed her in many troubles in the past, but Loki was curious. What could she have possibly said to Odin? Knowing her, she probably said something out of anger.  
Loki sighs, shaking his head, looking over her letter once more. Loki’s attention was pulled outside as another Einherjar approached the one that was standing outside his cell. This wasn’t strange; the guards do switch posts a few times a day. But he’s never seen this one around the dungeons before. Loki pushes this to the back of his mind, storing the letter under his makeshift pillow. Getting up he walks around the cot to the small table there and sitting down. Frigga’s informed him that Thor had left on a trip and wouldn’t return until late, but he’d have the letter ready by then.

Y/n was walking through the halls of the palace once again, she had a bad case of the nerves for some reason. She needed to see Frigga, and she wasn’t in her chambers when Y/n had asked one of her handmaidens. So one of the only other place she would be is with Odin, it’s either that and the two places Y/n had already checked: the gardens and the library.  
Y/n approaches the large gold doors of the throne room, only to be stopped by the Einherjar that stood presently. “I am sorry my Lady, but you are not permitted her.”  
Y/n felt a little taken aback by his gruff attitude towards her, he was unlike Ferrin, who would have greeted her with a wide smile and let her in, despite what the All-Father says. “Where’s Ferrin?” Y/n asks cautiously, taking a step back. “He has been reassigned, because if his refusal to follow simple orders.”

It could be worse.

“Pray tell: Where exactly has he been reassigned to?”

“The dungeons, my Lady,”


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n goes to see Frigga

Y/n had been in her chambers all day. On one hand, she was feeling quite guilty about Ferrin’s reassignment. Because anyway she looks at it, it was still pretty much her fault. He was breaking the rules for her, anyways. But on the other hand, Y/n couldn’t help but feel glad for it. If Ferrin is now guarding Loki’s cell, there’s a chance she could see him again.

If Ferrin is up to breaking rules, that is.

Y/n sighs, as easy as it may sound in her head right now. It’s quite possible she would be unable to get past the doorway. Not with the guards there. They’ve probably been informed to send her away the minute she steps foot in the hallway. She had to come up with some way to get past them, without Odin finding out.

She had yet to see Frigga. She might as well occupy her time.

Y/n left her chambers then, again, searching for the queen. She had to talk to her, she doesn’t know why. Perhaps closure or perhaps she only needed someone to talk to. At a time, she had Loki to talk to, and then sometimes, Thor. Her footfalls echo softly as she made her way to the gardens.

“Y/n, my Dear,” Frigga greets Y/n with a smile. Y/n smiles back, walking across the soft grass to meet the Queen. “Are you well?” Y/n had almost sighed aloud at the question, she know why they’re always asking that question though, and she’s sure that Loki gets it as well. They wanted to make sure that nothing was going on in their heads; that despite everything, their distance from each other isn’t breaking them.   
“Of course, my Queen,”   
Y/n was never a good liar, and she knew that Frigga knew that. The Queen didn’t question her further, she only took her hand and led her to a stone bench.   
“What troubles you, child?”   
Y/n sighs and goes to shake her head, but it’s no point denying that something was in fact bothering her. “It’s alright to miss him, Y/n.” Frigga smiles lightly, taking Y/n’s hand in her own. She knew that Y/n was missing Loki, it’s only natural that she does. They’ve been inseparable when they were children, and just the same when they became adults. So not having him around would trouble her.   
“Has the All-Father told you anything concerning my and Loki’s predicament?”   
Frigga sighs, “I’m afraid, nothing of the sort has come from him.” She says quietly, squeezing the girl’s hand softly. “But, I know Odin. And he’s up to something. And I fear we won’t like the outcome.”


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n goes to the city for a breather and strange things occur. A little boy who looks oddly familiar and Sif is yelling.

There is only so much Y/n could do within the palace walls, and sometimes doing the same thing on the daily can get quite boring. So she had planned a day outside, she had taken only her cloak and a sack of gold coins for her trip to the city. As always, the city of the high realm was loud, voices carrying, people showing off what they had to sell for a few gold coins. Despite being inside most of the time, Y/n quite enjoyed the city noises. It’s in a way, calming, but Y/n was only unknowingly distracting herself.   
She walked quietly, brushing past the villagers, marveling at the things she saw, even buying a few things as well. It was about late morning when she decided it was time to return to the palace, when the spotted the most beautiful necklace she’s ever seen. It was simple; dark leather strings twisted and wrapped in the most intricate way. All leading down to a emerald gem in the middle.   
She stopped to stare at it, feeling a smile tug at the corners of her mouth. “Beautiful necklace, isn’t miss?”   
Y/n looks behind the wooden table at a little boy, who looked no older than nine. Y/n’s smile fades as she looked at him, his eyes were the very same as the gem, his raven hair a tangled mess on his head. His skin was sun kissed, and freckles dotted his face. The boy smiles brightly at her, and before she could say a word, he runs off.   
Y/n stood in shock, the boy looked so familiar, so much like someone she knew. But also different.   
“Madame? Are you alright?” A voice pulls Y/n from her thoughts. Y/n looks up, the stall owner stood there now, watching her worriedly. “Oh, yes I’m okay, I was only admiring—” Y/n had look down to see the necklace again, but it was gone. And what was weird too, the man was not even selling necklaces, but instead hair assortments.   
“See something you like?” the man questions hopefully. Y/n smiles and picks up a silver hair clip that had little blue gems in it. She hands the man coins he called it for, and left. She was still in a bit of a daze when she returned to the palace.

What she saw was real, she was certain of it. It had to be. 

“Y/n!”

Y/n’s head snaps up from her book at the loud sound of a voice echoing through the library.   
Who in Valhalla’s name was yelling?

“Y/n–Oh, there you are.”

Y/n was surprised to see the Lady Sif standing there. They were friends of course, even though they never talked much. Sif was interesting company. Y/n raises her eyebrow, closing the book to give Sif her undivided attention. “Sif, what is it?”

“Thor sent me for you, he said that it was important.” Sif says gently, smiling. And Y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that Sif was tiptoeing around her. “Sif, what is it?” Y/n questions firmly.   
“I cannot say, just come with me.” Sif took hold of Y/n’s wrist, pulling her out of the library and down the hall.


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sif takes Y/n to the dungeons

Y/n follows Sif quickly, she had long let go of her wrist and Y/n was trying her best to keep in step with the Warrior. She didn’t go into depth about what Thor needed her for. If it was so important that Sif couldn’t speak of it, in fear of prying ears, Y/n didn’t dare ask.   
Sooner rather than later, Y/n found herself in an unfamiliar hall. “Sif,” she calls softly, and the brunette looks over her shoulder at her. “Where are we going?”   
Sif stops, glancing around, even though no one was around to hear a nail drop. She sighs, “Thor sent me to get you so you can see him." 

"What…? ”

“Come now Y/n, We only have a small window of time.”

Sif takes off again, Y/n following now in quicker steps. She could see Loki? The girl was confused, had Thor spoken to Odin? If he had, why would he listen now? After all the times he’s asked–after she’s asked– why now? He couldn’t have.

When they finally went down a hall Y/n knew all too well, Thor was standing at the entrance to the dungeons. The guards however, were both unconscious. “You both know that you will face serious consequences for this.” Y/n says once they reached him.   
Thor smiles broadly, taking her hand, “Believe me Y/n, this is worth the risk. I cannot bare to see you both like this any longer.” he says. “Now go quickly, we don’t have much time before Father hears word of this. Go.”

Loki sat in the chair that resided in his cell, it was rather boring. Sitting there day in, day out, having mostly nothing to do. He had planned on going to sleep, but for some God forsaken reason, he couldn’t. The guard outside his cell was friendly enough to chat with, which wasn’t something that Loki expected. Because the guards were told not to speak a word to him under no circumstances.

This one broke rules.

Loki sighs, his hope of ever seeing Y/n again had long dwindled. He doubts it will ever happen, he hasn’t seen Thor since his return. So he hadn’t had time to send his letter to Y/n. He was growing more and more desperate, any longer, and Loki swears he is going to die.

“My lady,”

Loki looks around confused, he thought that it was Frigga again today with the books he’s requested. But what he saw was far better.   
“Y/n?” He questions, getting up, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She couldn’t possibly be here on Odin’s word. She was smiling at him, tears shining in her eyes. “Hello my Love.”   
The guard smiles, looking between the both of them, smiling. Loki’s eyes didn’t leave hers when the gold barrier came down.   
“Hurry now, Y/n,” the guard says, pushing her gently forward. Loki’s heart was pounding in his ears when she came in and practically tackled him. Loki grunted with the force of her hug, but wrapped his arms around her anyway. He buries his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent for the first in a long time.   
Loki laughs, tightening his hold around her waist, he didn’t waste time on kissing her. The kiss was gentle and passionate, and Loki couldn’t help but sigh into it. He rest his forehead against her own, smiling at her, “Does Odin know?” Y/n chuckles, “Of course not,”   
Loki smiles, shaking his head, “It was Thor, wasn’t it?”   
Y/n rests a soft hand on his cheek, “You know your brother best,” Loki chuckles, and was just about to kiss her again, but a voice stops his advances.

“Step away from him, child.”

Loki keeps an arm wrapped around the girl’s waist, moving her to stand beside him. And sure enough, Odin was standing outside. His features remained calm, but Loki can see through many things. And faux emotions was one of them; Odin was furious.  
“All-Father, please.” Y/n pleaded quietly, and Loki held Odin’s steely gaze. “I knew eventually you would have found your way here, whether or not you had the aid of others.”   
Loki’s grip on Y/n’s waist only tightened. This was the only time, that Loki actually feared Odin’s power. He didn’t know the consequences that could be met because of what Y/n did. And he was sure he didn’t want to find out. 

“I suggest, you prepare yourself.” Odin says suddenly looking at Loki, and it left the lovers confused. “Prepare for what?” Loki asks, keeping a brave face.

“Your execution.”


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n is taken back to her quarters and Loki and Odin have a moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! <3

“Take her away.” Odin orders as two guards step up next to him. Y/n felt Loki’s hand tighten where it held her own as one of the guards step forward. “And lock her room, no one is to see her unless I give the command." 

Y/n couldn’t move, one word rang in her head: Execution.

That can’t be right, she must have misheard Odin. She had to. She looks up at Loki, who was staring at Odin with not so much as an emotion on his face.   
Then the guards came in and pulled her away, it was then she came to. "No, All-Father! You can’t do this!” Y/n shouts, desperately trying to get her arm free of the guard. “No! Please! Let go of me! You can’t do this!” The guard was holding her arm behind her, twisting her arm to keep her moving. Thor was outside still, two guards at his side, his head was hung, in shame or defeat, Y/n didn’t know. 

She was taken back to her Chambers without so much as a sound from the guard, and she had long silenced her protests. She was too in shock to say anything anymore, when the weight of everything finally hit her.

Loki is going to die.

What the hell is she supposed to do now?

::

“Will my death satisfy you, Odin?” Loki asks calmly, watching him carefully. The All-Father stares back blankly; but Loki can see the cold fury in his blue eye. “As it pains me to say it; yes. With your death comes peace,” 

Loki clasp his hands behind his back, sighing through his nose. He expected this, he was only waiting. He knew that Odin had kept him in the dungeons for a reason. “I expected no less from you, Father.” Loki smiles cynically, shaking his head.

“Am I truly that predictable?”

“Father!” Thor’s voice booms and his heavy steps bounce around the walls as he came to a halt next to his Father. “You cannot do this. Loki does not deserve death for the things he’s done. Many others has done worse and yet they keep their lives.”

“Don’t waste your breath, Thor.” Loki says, his eyes on his brother now. Thor turns to look at him, “And what about Y/n? How do you think she feels? Knowing that you are going to your death.”

“It’s better to die, than rot away here. At least when I die I’d have the chance to see her.” Loki can see the disappointment in Thor’s eyes. He’s given up because there isn’t anything else left to do. He isn’t worried, Loki has no reason to fear death.

“Loki.” Odin calls, “Your dying wish.”

“I have none.”


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gives up and Thor is not having it.

"After all this.. all of this for nothing,“ Thor mutters, with a sigh. He watches his brother, his brows creased with sorrow and worry. Not only for Loki but for Y/n as well, and his mother. Frigga probably hasn’t heard word of this yet, but Thor knows it wouldn’t be long. If his father doesn’t say anything to her, than he definitely will. Odin long had left, leaving the brothers alone. 

Loki was sitting in one of the corners of his cell, a thick book in his hand. Looking very calm about everything that had transpired during the past hour. And it angered the blond Prince, he hadn’t even protested against their father. He gave up, just like that, after everything.   
"It saddens me to see you like this, Brother. Loki, this isn’t you.”   
Thor’s words fell upon deft ears, Loki continued to read as though his brother wasn’t there. “Loki,” Thor calls with a sigh, “What about Y/n? Does she mean nothing to you?”   
Loki finally looks up, a new emotion flashing in his green eyes, one that Thor hadn’t seen in a long while now. “Do you not understand?” He asked, tossing the book carelessly he gets up and stalks towards the golden barrier that kept them apart. “With me dead, she has no one to worry after. She would not have to waste away her days thinking of me, when she would see me again. I have no right being on her mind.”   
“And what do you think she would do when you die, Loki? That is all she would ever do.” Thor argues, clenching his fist, “With you gone, she’d have nothing left.”

“Then she should have known better than to fall for a man like me.”

“If this is your way of trying to make things easier for yourself, Loki, it isn’t working. When she’s heard that you’ve given up, she is going to give up.” Thor says, holding his ground. He wasn’t allowing his brother to do this. He wasn’t going to allow their father to do this either. “And what of Mother? She loves you more than she should, Loki. What will she think? I have never known you as a man to give up, so why now, after everything?”

“Because I have nothing, Thor. I’ve never had anything. My entire life, I’ve been fed a lie by a man who claimed to love me. My entire life I’ve been living in your shadow, and the moment I try to step out of it I was thrown in here.” Loki says, a mix of anger and sorrow was his expression, “I only ever wanted to be your equal,”   
“That is not what this is about, Loki.” Thor says softly, it took a moment, but Thor realized what he was doing. “Picking a fight isn’t going to make this any easier.”

“I’m merely stating facts.”

Thor sighs, “You say you have nothing,” Loki turns away from him, going back to the corner he was previously in, “But you have Y/n, you have me, and Mother, keep that in mind.”


	12. Tweleve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n is stuck in her chambers and she and Frigga talk. Loki is ehre he always is and He and Thor have a moment.

The hours that Y/n spent in her room ticked away like molasses dripping off a spoon. It’s amazing how time can seem to slow down when terrible things happen. No one had come to see her, she expected no one after Odin commanded it. She knows that there was a guard right at her door, doing his duty to keep her trapped there. She sat on her bed, her fingers folded in her lap. She doesn’t know if she’d get out, she doubts now that Odin would allow her to see Loki one last time.

Not after the stunt they pulled.

Y/n couldn’t help but worry, Thor and Sif helped to get her in the dungeon, and Ferrin. She would be forever grateful for that, but she fears for them. Doing what they did was going against Odin’s commands. And he doesn’t take easy to that.

The girl was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear her door open. She only knew someone else was there when they sat down next to her. Y/n was startled to see Frigga, and upon seeing her, the girl could feel her throat tighten with emotion. She tried not to show it, unsure if Frigga knew about what happened. “I felt your distress, child. What is it?”   
“You don’t know? The All-Father….He–”   
“I know, Thor had informed me of Odin’s actions. And I am afraid his mind is set,” Frigga says sadly, tears flooding her blue eyes and she looks away from Y/n briefly. “Is there nothing you can do?” Y/n asks softly and Frigga shakes her head, “Unless Odin changes his mind, I’m afraid not.”   
Y/n sniffles and wipes at her cheeks, the tears had finally come and she couldn’t seem to stop crying. Even though Frigga seemed calm, Y/n knew what she was feeling. No mother, would want this for her child. Adopted or not.   
“There is something else on your mind, Y/n.” Frigga says knowingly, Y/n looks at her hands, shaking her head. It’s been in her mind for quite sometime now, and it’s the wrong time to think about it, but she can’t get it out of her head. “I had gone to the city some time ago, and…. I saw a boy there… ” Y/n begins, sounding unsure of herself as a clear image of the child flashes in her mind. “I   
was looking at a necklace when he came up to me.” She takes a breath, “He looked like him, Frigga. He looked so much like Loki – and me– and I don’t know what to do.. Because it seemed so real and I know it wasn’t. ” Y/n sighs, wiping at her eyes.   
“Sometimes,” Frigga says gently, turning Y/n to face her, “It is possible for people to see bits of their own future. Magic does not need to run in their blood for them to do so, it just happens… And it’s quite rare and can only happen once. And I do believe, that was yours.”

Loki watched quietly as Thor paced outside his cell. As it turns out, tomorrow is his death date. ”Do you mind?“ Loki asks, raising his book to show Thor that he was reading. "I’m trying to read you know, and at the rate you’re going, you’re going to put a hole there.”  
Thor stops abruptly, watching Loki with narrowed eyes, “Don’t start.” Loki comments, turning his eyes to his book once more. He wasn’t surprised at all when Thor came back a mere hour later after their first conversation. Of course Odin would do this, the sooner he gets rid of Loki, the better. Thor talks like Loki is supposed to feel something about that fact that he is going knowingly to his death. But honestly, he doesn’t feel a thing. He never feared death, everything dies in the end, that’s knowledge he embraces. But after his talk with Thor, he’s been bothered by what he was leaving behind.   
“Would you tell her I’m sorry?” he asks softly, looking up at his brother, whom in despite of everything that’s happened in the past, he holds dear to his heart.  
“And, would you give her this for me?” He pulls a folded piece of parchment from the back of his book, where it’s been placed days before. Loki had foreseen this, he knew that Odin wouldn’t allow him to spend the rest of his days in the dungeons.   
He remained in his spot, watching as Thor brought the golden barrier down and came in. Loki gets up, holding the letter out to him. Thor takes it away gently before enveloping Loki in a hug. Loki, completely put off by the action, takes a moment, standing stock still. He awkwardly pats Thor’s back, trying to say many things at once without words took a little more effort than it should’ve.

Thank you

I’m sorry

Thor pulled away eventually, nodding at him before, “I will be here for you come morn,” he says giving him one last glance before leaving.  
Thor sighs, “You say you have nothing,” Loki turns away from him, going back to the corner he was previously in, “But you have Y/n, you have me, and Mother, keep that in mind.”


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n receives Loki's last letter.  
> Loki prepares for his execution

Frigga had long left Y/n’s company, removing the guard with her promise to stay confined within her chambers, as not to anger Odin further. So, there she remained for about an hour, until someone was again knocking at her door. With the guard now gone, others were free to visit her, so she wasn’t surprised to see Thor standing there when she opened the door. She had never once seen Thor with such a down casted look on his face, his blue eyes held so much sadness it made Y/n’s heart clench. She didn’t have to ask why he felt such a way, for she knew and already felt the same. “He said that he is sorry,” he says, looking down at her, holding out Loki’s letter to her. Y/n’s heart pound in her ears as she took it from his fingers, “Thank you, Thor…” her voice was a sorrowful whisper, Y/n takes in a breath and tried to blink away the tears threating to fall when she looked back up at Thor. “Thank you…for everything you’ve done for me,”

The last thing she saw was Thor’s sad smile before she closed the door, she walks over to her bed and sits down. She stares at the folded piece of parchment in her hand, feeling the tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. She knows that this would be the last letter that she will ever receive from Loki, and with that now in mind, Y/n lets out a choked sob. Clutching the letter to her chest, she takes a breath, calming herself down for a moment, she looks at it, slowly pulling it open.

Y/n.

Hello, my Darling. I know by the time you read this it will be time, and I think you know what I mean. We both saw this coming, we both know what Odin had in mind for me. And firstly, I must apologize, for my actions, the things I’ve said, and that we never had the time to truly be together. And secondly, I must thank you, for being the most important thing to me, one of the people I hold most dear. For showing me that despite everything, anyone can find love – be loved – and is able of returning the same affection. I was never one to express my feelings, I was never able to show them properly, and I suppose that was a part of my lengthy list of problems. But you showed me how to do just that, you taught me so many things, I knew from the moment I saw you, so many years ago, that you’d mean worlds to me. Odin had asked, if I had a dying wish, and of course, I had none that was meant for him. My dying wish concerns you. Live for me, can you do that? Be happy, find someone, do not let this—let me—hold you back. You are a brave woman, you are stronger than most, you can go on, without me. Do not morn my passing, for I do not deserve your tears. To cry over a man such as I is foolish, do this, it’s all I ask of you.

Be well, always.

Yours, always, Loki.

Y/n lays the letter down, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth as the sobs shakes her wary frame. How dare he. He says to do these things for him, but he doesn’t know how hard it is even thinking about it. How can he tell her to let him go? To find happiness when he is her happiness?

When Y/n found that she could no longer cry anymore, she crawls beneath the soft folds of her covers, still holding onto Loki’s letter.

Loki sat in his cell the next morning, feeling an odd sense of sadness wash over him. With his elbows resting on his knees, he looks down at his joined fingers, his dark eyebrows drawing together. It wouldn’t be long until Thor comes to collect him, he was just waiting. He couldn’t help but wonder what his last thought would be, if the last image in his mind would be of the woman he loves or the swing of a blade.

Loki stands when he hears footsteps echoing throughout the dungeon, Thor comes, along with six Einherjar. Probably Odin making sure that Thor does exactly what he is supposed to do. One of the guards drop the golden barrier, and they step in with the chains to bind him. “It’s time, Brother.”


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Y/n are allowed to see each other one last time.

Loki was bonded, much like he was when he first returned to Asgard, when he failed to conquer Midgard all those years ago. He was led by Thor and the guards out of the dungeons and down the hall towards the throne room. No one said a word, the only thing that could’ve been heard was the rattle of chains with Loki’s every movement. Loki had nothing to say anyway, anything would be a waste of breath. He couldn’t help but wonder what Y/n was doing at the moment, if she read his letter. It had pained him to write it, knowing that it was his last, knowing that there was no way that she would actually do what he’s asked of her. She wouldn’t be able to, Loki knows.

They were about to turn down another hall when a voice stops them, “Stop.”

Loki watches Thor as he turned around to face the owner of the voice, but Loki didn’t need to, he knew his mother’s voice anywhere. “You would allow this girl to see Loki,” It was then Loki turned to see Y/n standing there next to Frigga.

“My Queen, we are supposed to take the Prince to the throne room,” the head guard informs, as they all turned to face the two women. Frigga puts up a hand, “It would only be a moment, you have my word.”

Loki looks over at Thor, who only nods at the guard, who moves to unbind his chains. Loki walks to his mother, “Thank you,” he says, taking her hand in his and offers a small smile, one which she returns sadly. Without a word, he takes hold of Y/n’s hand and pulls her quickly into the empty room to his right, no one questioned this, he needed to speak with her alone and to do that he needed to maintain a certain level of privacy. Right when he closed the door behind him, Y/n’s arm were around his neck and she was crying into his tunic.

“I know, I know.” Loki mutters, wrapping his arms around her, “I’m sorry,” He pushes her away gently by her shoulders so that he could see her face, he wipes her tears away with the pads of his thumbs, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “It’s alright,” he says, but the girl shakes her head, “It’s not. Loki you can’t expect me to just…”

“I need you to,” Loki looks down at her, dark eyebrows furrowed, “My dying wish, remember?” upon seeing her eyes fill with tears, his does the same. “Loki…”

He smiles sadly at her, wiping her damp cheeks again, “All will be well, Y/n, I promise.” Just as he kissed her gently, there was a knock on the door behind them. With a sigh, Loki leads Y/n out of the room, and with one final goodbye to his love and his mother, the guard rebound his chains and pulled him along.

Loki stared straight ahead of him as they walked, he kept his head held high despite what was going to happen. It wasn’t long before they made it to the throne room. And behind the closed gold doors, laid Loki’s fate in the hands of a man he once trusted above all others. He had no fear for what was to come, he would see Y/n again, it may not be soon, but he would.

The doors were opened, and Loki walked in after Thor, down the long gold floor towards Odin where he sat on his large throne over-looking the nine realms.

“My sons,” Odin calls when they stopped at the first step to his throne, Loki watches him carefully, “Leave us.” he comands, waving his hand at the guards, who all leave not a moment after. Now Loki was confused, there was no executioner to be seen. “Father..what is this?” Thor questions confusion filling his voice as well.

“As I’ve thought about my past actions, I realized, as a king, they were foolish, and as a father, I cannot bare it.” Loki looks at his brother, and they were equally confused as the other. He looks up at Odin, trying to see if this was just some trick that he was playing to give him false hope. But Odin’s words were true.

“You are to be exiled, Loki, son of Odin,”


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin seemingly had better plans for Loki...Enough angst and onto the happy ending :))

“Exiled?” Loki asks, his voice strained by disbelief as he gazed upon Odin, “Did you think I would succumb to such trickery? Did you forget that I am God of such things? You can do better than that All-Father." 

 

Odin’s heavy brows crease at the words of his son, "You think my words false?" 

 

"Well you haven’t given me much reason to believe you so far,” Loki says, shifting on his feet in an uncomfortable manner. He didn’t want to believe that it was this easy, to escape death in such a manner. He had expected the exicutioner to be there when he entered the room. He had come expecting his death. Honestly, Loki should be glad to hear that he wasn’t dying today, he should be elated to hear so. But kowing this, it was what Odin palnned to do with him after his sudden change in heart. Would he be sent back to the dungeons to continue his pitiful exsitence? He didn’t know. 

Odin says nothing for a while, causing Loki to suddenly worry. Thor comes up beside him, watching his father carefully, “What is to become of him then?” he asks, looking breifly at his brother. 

“That, is entirely up to what he intends to do.” Odin says, motioning towards Loki, who in fact, was still in shock at this change. “You will be given a choice; you can stay in the palace, but forever remain here. You will be able to do as you please, as long as you remain within the walls.” The All-Father says, his voice was as it always was when it cocerned Loki: cold and condescending, but Loki could sense no falsity behid his words. “Or, you will leave here, never to return and renounce your title as Prince." 

Loki blinked up at Odin, unsure what to say, he could pick either. Remain in the palace and become forever a prisinor in his own home, that sounds way more pleasing than spending the rest of his days in the belly of the palace. Or he could give everything up, renounce his title and leave. Never seein Y/n ever again. 

Y/n!

"And what of Y/n?” Loki asks, watching Odin before glancing at Thor. He hears Odin sigh, “She may follow you, I cannot stop her from doing so.”

Loki stands and think, either way he went with, he would still get what he wants; Y/n at his side. He could leave, but in doing so, he will no longer be under Frigga’s or Odin’s protection. And he has pissed off a lot of beings across the nine realms and he was not willing to take the risk that came with being on the outside. 

“I will remain here,” He desides, it will be better, knowing that this way was better to ensure his love’s safety. 

“Very well.”

Not long after, Loki and Thor stepped out of the throne room, Thor with a broad smile on his face and Loki just itching to get out of his bonds and be somewhat free again. He wasn’t at all surprised when Frigga and Y/n were waiting outside the gold doors for them. 

“…What?” Y/n mutters in disbelief, mouth slightly agape as her eyes darted between Thor and Loki. Loki finally let a small smile ease onto his face as he watched her, “You’re stuck with me I’m afriad," 

Loki couldn’t help but feel that Frigga had somehow influenced Odin and made him see reason, but honestly, he couldn’t be happier about that as he held Y/n in his arms. 

 

::

 

"So that was it? Are you sure he wasn’t possesed?" 

"I am fairly certain he wasn’t." 

Loki sat, leaning against the headboard of his bed, watching Y/n who was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. "Why must we talk about Odin right after…”   
“It’s been five minutes,” Y/n says as Loki move downwards and under the satin sheets beside her, reveling in the comfort of her bare skin against his as she snuggled closer to him. Loki rests his chin on her head when she got comfortable enough to stop wiggling about. He runs his fingers lightly through her hair, now staring at the ceiling. 

For the past weeks, Loki and Y/n had been doing nothing but _making up for lost time_. And since both of them really had no where to go, they remained in his chambers most of the time. Only going out when they absolutely have to, and that’s only when Frigga wants to see them. Thor had been by more recently, much to Loki’s annoyance. He thinks by now he could just leave him alone, though he didn’t see much of his brother whilst he was staying in the dungeons he didn’t need to see him every ten minutes. 

“Oh, Loki?” he hears Y/n call, he was certain that she’d fallen asleep by now, he hums in response, shifting slightly, “what is it?” He asks gently, rubbing circles into the soft skin of her hip.

“There was a child in the city, the last time I visited. But he wasn’t really….It’s very hard to explain…” Y/n’s words came out as confused as Loki felt, he didn’t know exactly where she was going with this, but he believed he knew what she spoke of. She presses her cheek to his chest, and sighs, “He wasn’t really there, I was certain that he was, but he wasn’t. And I spoke to Frigga about it, and she told me something…”

“ That it is possible for someone to see fragments of their future, whether or not magic is in their blood.” Loki says, catching on to what the girl was saying. “It’s never absolute," 

He feels Y/n pull away from him, making him immediately miss warmth of her skin, "My cycle was supposed to start a week ago.” she says seriously, her e/c eyes staring into his green ones.

“…Oh…”


	16. Sixteen |End|

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending at last -- Odin and Loki have a much needed talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of you who stayed with me on this wild ride of angst! Well not so much angst?

Loki had laid in his bed the very next day, he hadn’t moved from his spot since he opened his eyes. He couldn’t help but hate the idea of becoming a father.

He would never admit it to Y/n, but he didn’t want to be the someone who was supposed to be there for their child, to look out for someone who was supposed to look out for them and love them no matter what. Someone who should be able to sacrifice their life so that their child could have one without question. He doesn’t think he could be that person and do what was expected of him. 

He didn’t want to be the one who failed.

From a very young age, before Loki knew what abandonment was, he was abandoned. Before he even knew what neglect was, he was neglect was, he was neglected. And the worst part was: he fears that it would be the same for his unborn little one. 

He didn’t want to be in a position where his child would hate him more than anything. He didn’t want to be the source of their pain, the reason that they go in the wrong direction that he did. 

Loki decided that a walk was best, to clear his head and somewhat come to terms that this is happening. That he is going to be a father no matter how he told himself he wasn’t ready for it. So, Loki left Y/ sleeping soundly and headed to the library, a place of silence where he could think in peace. 

Loki hadn’t expected to find Odin there though. Granted, his presence was somewhat, Loki could at least have someone to talk to about this. He had been, however, avoiding Odin. Not really having to see him in the first place. 

Loki takes a seat to the nearest window, gazing out of it in thought. It was quiet, until Odin spoke, “Long has it been since I’ve set my eye on this library,” he says and Loki watches as he picked up a book and flipped through the pages before putting it back down. “The knowledge it holds is sometimes forgotten,”

“You have no need for knowledge, if I recall; you know all,” Loki finally speaks, his voice echoing around on the walls of the large room. Odin nods and waves his hand in silent agreement and Loki fought the strong urge to roll his eyes. “There are some things, Loki, that gives cause for merriment. And some things you can not come to terms you, but however, you will learn to accept when the time is right.”

Loki furrows his eyebrows, watching the all-Father carefully, “When Frigga was with child, I was just as you are now; troubled and unsure. I did not want the responsibilities that fatherhood brought, for I was unprepared for such task.”  
Loki didn’t bother to ask how he knew what troubled his mind so, he just listen to what he had to say. 

“Then I found you not long after and I decided then that I would be the best I could. Despite my fears and doubts. Despite the mistakes I’ve made,” Odin says, a ghost of a smile on his face, Loki watches him, uncertainty clouded his mind. He nods slowly, understanding what Odin was telling him. He gets up from the chair, ready to walk out of the library, but not of course without stopping to look at Odin, “Thank You.”

 

It wasn’t long before Loki once again retuned to his chambers. Y/n was still asleep, like he expected her to be. But she woke when he closed the door behind himself. He smiles brightly at her, to which she returns a sleepy confused expression. “What happened?” she asks with slightly narrowed eyes as he approached her. Loki chuckles, getting into the bed next to her, pulling her close to him as he had the night before. He presses a kiss to her forehead gently, “Nothing, Darling.” 

“Then why do you look as if Thor fell down a flight of stairs?”  
Loki chuckles again, “As humorous as that sounds, it wasn’t that. Can’t I just be happy for no reason?” 

“Not saying no, Love. It’s only weird because you’re showing it.” Y./n murmurs sleepily, tucking her face comfortably into the crook of his neck. “You know, Y/n. Something had occurred to me today,” Loki suddenly says, just before he knew she was falling back to sleep. 

“Was it the reason why you were smiling like that?”

“Partly,” 

“Okay, tell me.”

Loki smiles, sighing as he stared up at the ceiling, “I may not be the best person, but I promise you, Darling, I will be the best for you, the mother of my child and the light of the stars in my universe.”

Despite all the things that are now going to happen, because their futures has ultimately changed. He hadn’t expected Y/n’s glimpse to be true, as he’s read, they are never certain, but it was, and Loki was ready.


End file.
